Train Time: No. 6

Today, it’s the 5:20 bound for Homewood.

Today proved to be an interesting day.

It wasn’t great…

It wasn’t terrible…

It was more like: educational.

Today’s entry will have a lot to do with what I wrote yesterday, in “Train Time Pt 5”, so review that if you don’t remember or didn’t read it.
…………………………. Finished? Good!
I find it fascinating that when the mind is not filled with the normal minutia it ponders on during a given day, that it can sometimes just become completely lost; that is: Unable to decide what to do with itself.

Lately, weather from my own misconceptions on life, or, because it (life) really has been that difficult, I have found my self worrying a lot. Not really down or depressed but rather “hyper-focused” on a couple if issues that have been on my mind for a while.

This is in spite of the fact that my life in general is pretty great. There has just been one… or two issues that have been in the forefront of my thoughts. (The concept of allowing one worrisome thing to quench all the other great things is a whole new topic for another day.)

Then, the other day, quite unexpectedly, this “thing” I have been obsessing about suddenly took a turn and became, with one simple email, not such a big deal.

A couple days later, I was introduced to this concept of joy from my last post, which shook things up even more -in a positive way.

So, today, finding my self in the middle of a life that is really pretty great, combined with my target for obsessive worry suddenly not being worth the time, my mind… simply didn’t know what to do with itself.

It was like a car that ran out of gas, but never really needed the “gas” to run in the first place.

Life carried on…

Without the worry.

Now there was a time, not too far back, that this in itself would have been additional cause for worry and panic. My mind would have felt the lack of worry… and the absence of any real instant joy…

as proof that I really am doomed.

Instead, my response was:

“Remember: its going to take time! You are not going to learn to allow joy -even welcome it- in just a couple days. Look at it as proof that worry and fear are not the norm; and that you can decide what to replace them with.”

Wonder… and excitement over the possibilities…
And then joy and gratitude for it all…

Sounds pretty good to me.