My Mom My Memory & Me

I was standing in the kitchen just spinning around and thinking of things.

Actually, I wasn’t just spinning for the sake of feeling dizzy, I had come into the kitchen to do something and forgotten what it was.

Quite suddenly, I caught myself feeling like my mom was in the room with me; feeling like she was here all these years after her passing.

At first the feeling made me smile. I felt nostalgic sense of warmth at this presence and the loss of her being gone.  

It was then I realized that what I was feeling Was my mom in me.

It was that part of her in me guiding how I react to things and situations.

On most days, my mother was a lighthearted person. She was fun loving and personable. She was also very intelligent, yet not above a soft mutter under her breath when she found herself lost in thought or action, like I was today.

And so, just maybe, this sensation today was nothing more than that genetic code from her that guides and directs my personality and my quirks and the little things that came from my mother that makes me who I am.

Entering the kitchen, becoming lost in my actions for the moment; in doing that It reminded me of my mom. It helped me to see that Part of her that made me who I am. And it then somehow helped me to feel her with me.

Then at that moment, I think I better understood how, throughout Life, our contributions to the world are carried forward by the children we leave behind us.

It comes from every little thing we do as parents interacting with them and trying to help them to learn to live someday without us. And it also comes from every little thing we do that has nothing to do with raising kids at all but was just a projection of who we are as an individual:

When we laugh and when we cry, and what causes us to feel these ways.

What frustrates us or makes us afraid.

How we interact with our spouse.

All these things teach and mold our children sometimes even more than when we’re trying to actually teach them.

But then, standing there in the kitchen, I realized that we never really die, because a part of us is in them as my mother is still in me.

This is both a scientific and a genetic thing. But it’s also very much a spiritual and religious thing.

This is an ‘energy’ that makes us who we are. It is that God given part of us all that fills and drives our bodies. It creates and powers every essence of life itself. And it bridges the gaps between people in our lives today, and amazingly and magically between those who have passed beyond our reach.

Truly an amazing and magical thing because it exists and has probably happened to us all at one time or another; that feeling that someone we knew has returned from beyond visiting us again.

It is amazing and magical, and yet, when you really let yourself embrace it, it is also simple and eternal.