I do…

As the Supreme Court takes on the issue of same sex marriage I find myself filled with an urge to discuss a topic that always gets me into trouble in my household. It’s not that I have a radicle opinion; on the contrary, I feel my opinion is very logical. I think this just happens to be an issue, like abortion for example, that sparks fiery emotions in people –and my family is no exception.

I was reading an article on the internet which featured excerpts of the discussions from the Court proceedings today. The piece was very cleverly done by featuring what the author called as the “13 key moments in the Supreme Court arguments over gay marriage”. It was interlaced with a Court artist’s renderings of the proceedings presented in a video format with the audio of the discussions playing.

To summarize, the California ban is mentioned, there is a discussion on discrimination in respect to how the present laws are not fair to the gay community, and there is an interesting exchange on the fact that the purpose of marriage is to procreate and seeing as how gay couples cannot… make babies together, their desire to be married does not make much sense. They then discuss the fact that if gay’s were allowed to marry they would then want to adopt children, just like the heterosexuals can, and children being raised by two same sex parents has not yet been proven to be healthy for the children. The radicle change required to allow gay marriage is compared to the same radicle changes that occurred when women were allowed to vote, when schools were not divided along racial lines any longer, and when blacks and whites were allowed to marry.

All and all, some interesting points, but none of which hits even close to my point; to the one issue that has me riding the fence: Same sex marriage and religion.

It was then that I realized that this was just the top 13 points of the discussion from one person’s perspective. Surely if one was to read the entire transcript from the proceedings, religion and same sex marriage would have been discussed.

So, I found the transcripts from the day’s proceedings also on line. Admittedly I did not read through the entire document, but I was able to search through and see if some specific words were used. I searched for:

• Religion
• God
• Church

…Nothing!

It made me wonder. How could you have a discussion on this topic and NOT discuss religion as it relates to marriage. After all, the church, and the bible that most Christian churches are based upon, has some very specific views on the subject.

The truth is, although many “Experts” may want to quote bible verse to dispute gay marriage and homosexuality, after doing some research it was interesting to find that the bible does not mention anything about gay marriage, and never mentions homosexuality. I used the King James Version because; although it’s a bit harder to read, it is the closest I am likely to get to the original text without learning Hebrew or Greek. Newer translations are fine for easier understanding of the text but there’s no guarantee that they weren’t translated by someone who already has a bias in one direction or the other, so the King James Version works for me.

The main reason for the lack of mention of these terms is because the words gay and homosexuality are new terms that didn’t exist in their present meaning during biblical times. The concept however, even in the King James Version of the Bible, is pretty clear, as is God’s opinion as well.

For example, in the Old Testament, Leviticus 18:22 is says: “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination”

And in the New Testament, in the first chapter of Romans, details are given about how God will cause men and women to give in to unnatural desires towards their own sex because of their sins

There is more.  Suffice it to say that the King James Version of God’s word does not look too kindly on the matter of gays being wed. However, my point here is not to turn this into a religious discussion about the sins of the flesh according to the bible, but rather to bring to light an important issue that needs to be considered during these arguments about gay marriage: That in a country founded upon, among other things, religious freedom, consideration needs to be given to these Christian organizations when discussing the issue of gay marriage. After all, in my opinion, they are the only ones that have a leg to stand upon in the area of being against gay marriage.

Granted, I’m sure there are more issues than what has been presented here and in the articles I have read, but let’s look at what we have so far:

• Procreation:  that gays should not get married because they can’t procreate.

If marriage was for procreation, than anyone having sex out of wedlock would be able to do so with no worries of getting pregnant –or they just wouldn’t have sex. We all know that unmarried people have sex all the time. As a result of this, as much as 41% of all births occur without a wedding band and the vows of marriage with the numbers going much higher depending upon education and ethnic background. Procreation as a reason for marriage and a reason to exclude gays is clearly not a valid argument.

• Concern for the welfare of the children:

According to a report published by the U.S Department of Health and Human Services in 2011, there are over 3.3 million reports of Child abuse made in the United States involving nearly 6 million children every year. This equals a reported abuse every 10 seconds. Two more children were reported while you read this paragraph. Please note here that this is REPORTED abuses. This does not include those never reported. Of those abused, 78% suffer neglect, 17% physical abuse, and 9% sexual abuse. In 2010, 5 children died every day due to abuse of some kind, and most of those who suffer these atrocities, knew their abusers. I can guarantee you that these children did not suffer at the hands of some renegade band of gay pedophiles and child abusers.

On the other hand, The Williams Institute, a research center on sexual orientation law and public policy at UCLA School of Law published a report that basically showed that there was a ZERO percent child abuse rate in Lesbian households.

Combine this with the fact that the divorce rate amongst those who are allowed to marry is well over 50% and you will quickly see that overall, we heterosexuals are not doing so well in this area.

I’m sure there are more disputes on this issue for and against, but based upon the limited list I have addressed here, it seems like the only real challenge against as I see it, is the churches in this country. That is, that the bible, and therefore God has said NO. This is bad and thou shalt not!

Look, my personal feelings here are simple. I feel that gays should have all the privileges and rights that everyone else has. I believe that those who like to quote the bible chapter and verse against gay marriage should also quote the New Testament, Matthew 7 verse 1 “Judge not that ye be not judged” and basically mind their own business. Let’s let God sort out the saints and the sinners and try to remember that all he really wants us to do is love one another, whatever your hang-ups may be.

However, this still leaves us with a challenge. As much as I think there should be wedding bells for all, we still live in a country founded on “Liberty, and justice for all”. This country was formed partially upon the founders search for religious freedom. So, the challenge as I see it is simple, and yet at the same time complex:

How to provide those that want gays to have some form of legal union, without forcing it upon those whose faith and religious doctrine dictate that they can’t. And, do so in such a way as to recognize that, in this country, we have to allow for those who we disagree with, to insure that our rights are also preserved.

The real problem begins when some person who promised their parents they would get married in “The Church” gets angry when the pastor refuses to marry them because God says it’s wrong.  Until God says otherwise, the Church should not have to marry a gay couple if their doctrine says no. Likewise, that same gay couple should be able to enjoy some kind of union, with all the legal rights granted to everyone who’s not gay. Without this basic understanding, what follows is lawsuit and church bashing madness.

Whether it’s called a marriage, or a civil union, and weather it’s done in the church, or in a forest glen, or a court house, or in a garden like my marriage was in, gays should be allowed to enjoy the same status in life that I have as a man married to a woman. And unless you are willing to take God to court, his laws in respect to what the church recognizes should also stand.

The challenge we face is how to do so, together in one country, without killing each other in the process.