A Tale of Two Men…

I got pulled into an unexpected project this last weekend; more appropriately I “splashed” into it.

I woke up last Saturday morning to a utility room floor covered with water. Our water heater had quite suddenly and unexpectedly sprung a leak –from just about every pipe connection and seam the poor old thing had. After a little research consulting websites and Menards and Home Depot “Experts”, I came to the conclusion that it had heated its last gallon and was ready for the curb. Of course the fact that my 8 year water heater was on its fifteenth year was also a pretty good indication of its condition and projected life span.

Over all, considering that the project wasn’t expected and I was forced into spending about $500.00 more that weekend than anticipated, the weekend and the project went quite well. I had considered calling and letting a professional do it, but that would have cost an additional $600.00 on top of the $500.00 I already could not afford to spend. So, I rolled up my sleeves, organized my tools, and got to work.

I always find it fascinating that most of the time on any job involving home repair is spent going to the hardware store and spending money. If you already had the parts, and already had all the tools needed, any job would only take about a quarter of the time it would normally take. As the project progressed and I was almost finished, about mid-morning on the second day, I had one last part to put together before I was completed. The water was hooked up, the gas was hooked up; all that was left was the tin exhaust pipe that connects the top of the water heater to the existing exhaust pipe for the furnace. Somehow, the new water heater was about 3 inches closer to the wall than the one it replaced so I had to shorten and re-adjust the old pipe to fit.

The first problem I had was realizing that I was not the greatest at cutting tin. The second was realizing that my 20 year old tin snips were not the greatest of tools for the job; the now shortened pipe looked like it had been chewed on by a toothless badger. The third, and final problem I had was learning that if the adjustable elbows in my little exhaust assembly are so old and stuck together that they won’t adjust anymore; hitting them on the sidewalk to loosen them up was probably not the best solution. Now that the previously perfectly shaped but terminally stuck pipe was bent and banged up, I decided that there was one last visit to the hardware store required before I was finished. I took my now mangled pipe, a couple measurements, and headed out into that urban wilderness known as the hardware store one last time.

Without boring you too much with the technical details of my project, I went there this time with a couple predetermined questions, and an obvious need for a new exhaust pipe for my water heater. It’s important to note at this point that one cannot purchase a pre-assembled exhaust pipe for a water heater; one has to purchase the parts, and then assemble them. And, unfortunately, this would require more adjusting elbows, and more cutting tin with my old tin snips. Never fear however, for I had decided I would purchase a new tin snip for the job. After all, the failure to achieve a clean cut the first time could not have been because I didn’t know what I was doing; it had to be because my tool was faulty and old (a man’s worst fear).

This is when I ran across “The Two Men”, the title of this piece mentioned.

To keep things simple, let’s call the first man “The First Man”, and the second man “The Second Man”.

I went to the appropriate department and found more pieces-parts than I knew what to do with, making my decision that much harder. I reached the point where I thought I knew what I needed. I found an employee in that department (The First Man), and asked if the parts that I thought were correct to use were in fact correct (because they matched the parts I already had), or should I use those other parts that are supposed to be better and happen to cost twice a much?

When he answered me, I understood his answer just fine. What struck me was the way in which he answered the question. As my wife likes to say:

“It’s not what you say it’s how you say it”.

The best way I can explain his response was, it was: hurried, flustered, bothered, and sounding a little like “Oscar the Grouch” when his garbage can is too empty of refuse. Me being a man that does not like confrontation very much, I instantly felt a twinge of inhibition come over me; I feared that too many questions would push him over the edge causing a hostage crisis with me at the receiving end of a staple gun or a sharp piece of conduit.

Never the less, refusing to show my fear or submit to his attitude, I picked the parts I needed and proceeded to go about the business of picking out a new tin snip.

My quest for the new “Snip”, lead me to a different department. This is where I met the next employee (The Second Man). I gave him a quick overview of my project and showed him the poor excuse of snipping I had done with the old parts. Upon observing my results he responded with:

“Well, didn’t do a very good job there did ya!”

The interesting thing was, this man’s attitude and way he spoke to me was completely different from what I had experienced with the first man. Even though he was effectively picking on me, I felt no confrontational fear rise up in my gullet. In fact, he came across as easy going, even fun loving. And, the fact that he even made a comment indicated that he had noticed my predicament and was showing interest in what I was doing.

He then did something the first man had not even attempted: he asked me a question.

“Did you use Right Cutting, Left Cutting, or Straight tin snips?” Is what he asked.

I very promptly and proudly answered:

“I have no idea!”

He then proceeded to take me over to the area where they sold Tin Snips, and educated me on the difference between the different types and how they are used. Once finished, I went to select a Snip to do the job. He then proceeded to select a better deal for me: one that was cheaper and included all three types he had just explained to me. And if that wasn’t enough already, he then began asking me other questions about my project. He introduced me to additional knowledge and information that I would never have known about; knowledge and information that made the end result of my project better than it would have otherwise been.

Part of what he told me involved going back to the first man’s department and finding one last item I now knew I needed. Once I got there and could not locate it, I was forced to swallow my terror and ask the first man where I could find this specific item.

Oscar grumbled its location to me and I was on my way.

So here we have a “Tale of two Men”.

Neither one had ever seen me before and would probably never see me again. Neither one needed to give me anything more than just the very basic common professional courtesy. Yet the way in which each handled my questions; responded to my needs, was drastically different.

We could assume that each one gets paid about the same as the other; minimum wage or a little over. We could also assume that no one gets a bonus or commission on items sold. Weather they are both full time or part time workers, we can assume that each one puts in the same basic hours in each day, just possibly not the same amount of days. Overall, based upon the above information, it is unlikely that one could be motivated to be nicer more than the other: they are getting paid about the same, and have the same basic responsibilities, and work about the same hours.

I suppose it’s possible that the first man was having a bad day, or was at the end of his shift whereas the second man was at the beginning of his. This could have caused the one to have a better attitude than the other.

Regardless of the circumstances, the whole episode made me wonder; it made me wonder about each of these two men. I wondered if the crabby grumbly man was like that all the time. And if he was like that all the time, was he ever really happy about anything. Did he have any friends and if he did, were they grumbly and grouchy like him. Would he get together with his grumpy friends and complain about the world in general and every low life S.O.B. that passed their way.

I wondered…

I left the situation with a feeling of admiration for the second man. He went above and beyond the call of duty. I would have to assume that he was nicer and more patient and helpful just because that is how he was built.

I wondered if he made more friends because of his attitude; drew kinder and more gregarious people to him because of his outlook on life and the way he dealt with the people around him. That’s how it works you know; of you have a down outlook on life, life will tend to look bleak and depressing. If you have a good outlook on life, good just seems to come your way. Granted, this is not always the case. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people but if it does, it’s not because of how they choose to handle something, or how they dealt with someone.

Then, as is usually the case with me, my wondering took me another step farther. I wondered what kind of person I was; was I more like the first man, or the second. Was I more grumpy and annoyed or was I kinder and had a better outlook on things.

It’s easy to go through life and not know the truth, not really. It’s easy to believe the positive even though reality is quite different indeed. I think that seeing someone else with a negative attitude opened up my eyes a bit, helped me to see what it was like trying to communicate with a person with an attitude.

“Always leave things a little better than how you found them”.

This is a philosophy that typically applies to places or things. Leave the kitchen a little cleaner when you are done cooking, pickup after yourself, things like that.

I think this should also apply to people and how we deal with them. Try to leave them a little happier, feeling a little better than they did when you first met them –even if you are meeting them over and over again, day after day. After dealing with these two people, I can honestly say that it’s not that hard, and takes no more effort than the grouchy approach. And, I have to believe that you end up feeling better in the end as well.

I have been told by experts that each of us has a little of both types of people in us. Personally, I hope to have more of the second man.

Which type are you?