Train time # 24
Today it’s the 5:05 bound for Homewood. And to be honest, this one took two days to finish.
I think one of the hardest things one can do, is try to stand firm on what you believe when people around you keep trying to tell you your wrong.
And I’m not talking about things like “I believe the earth is flat” kind of beliefs. I’m talking about things a bit more personal and close to home. Especially things about you!
let’s keep this simple:
I think criticism is a good thing. It can help one to hear an opinion from another prospective. But I believe there is a difference between criticism asked for, and criticism given, weather it was wanted of not.
After all, in today’s world of so many differing ways to look and to Express oneself, who cares if someone else doesn’t like your outfit, or thinks your pink hair looks silly. And then there’s everyone’s favorites: “you’re too fat”, and, “she has… a nice smile”. First off: If you like it, and it’s not breaking any laws, then it’s good. And as for the last two; my response is: “piss off and mind your own business”. Unless your doctor says you have health issues and need to lose weight, and, if the sight of you causes small dogs and children to run yelping in fear… you might need to worry… Otherwise, “piss off”.
Asking for an opinion usually means that you are addressing someone you know, and you already fear you yourself don’t like whatever it is you are asking about.
Some people however, are what I would call “over the top” when it comes to criticism. That kind of input when it is no longer criticism, and it becomes down right mean and unnecessary.
I won’t even go into all the terrible examples of the mean things people say. You’ve all been exposed to examples.
When this happens to you, I think you need to step out of the situation, both physically and emotionally, and then ask yourself a handful of important questions:
1. Is there any real evidence that what they have said is true? Evidence beyond “they said so” and “I feel crappy after they say it”.
2. Looking at the facts: And not the feelings from being spoken to so rudely or your feelings about the person being so mean, but the facts -what do you think? Facts is probably the wrong word here because what we are really talking about is opinions; and in this case, your own opinion is what counts over the other person, especially when being spoken to in such a rude manner.
3. Finally: would you ever talk to someone like that? If your answer us no, then you also have to ask: “then why do I associate with someone that thinks speaking to someone like that is OK
Like I said before: criticism can be a good thing, and sometimes, from those who love us the most, it has to be aggressively expressed.
Comments like:
“you really should not drink so much!”
And
“these drugs are going to kill you”
And
“If you really loved me, why would you be such an ass hole!”
Are all good examples of criticism that is helpful, and usually needs to be expressed rather aggressively.
Other than these, people who love you always believe in you more than you believe in yourself. They always cheer your successes and hug away your failures, and only offer criticism when asked, or when you really need a lift when your down.
And if at times it seems like the rest of the world disagrees and thinks your wrong, you have to ask yourself is it really likely that everyone in the world really thinks I’m poop!
Everyone…
Really!
Let’s stay on track…
Let’s start by knowing that we are good people, with good attributes. That we are far from perfect, but far from a looser as well. We are just like everyone else in the world: the best, because I believe In me, and I am ready to learn and grow. I’m going to screw it up sometimes, but that’s part of being alive.
Start by loving you. When you love you, you will be good to you and take care of you. After this, the rest is easy. As someone who loves themselves, you will naturally surround yourself with people that feel the same.
